Maybe it was all written into the "case" even before 23.01.12, before the arrests, and now it's going on as if it were in accordance with a predetermined written scenario.

Atabayev and Mamay were not initially meant to be deprived of their freedom; besides, according to their personal revelations (especially Bolat Atabayev's with his freaking "terrorists" ready for anything), there were more materials than anything.

Now I'm simply recording facts, without drawing conclusions. Sapargali was arrested with the prospect of being "released" as early as March. However, due to his obstinacy; he wouldn't "wag his tail;" perhaps they required him to calumniate me and he declined. I am, obviously, the driving force.

So there becomes a "range" of people who should testify to the absence of a political template or order relating to all of us, as if there was an objective approach and the investigation was impartial.

Then Bolat Atabayev and Zhanbolat Mamay went mad, and there were no other options: they were arrested, as otherwise it would be impossible to get them to the investigation in Aktau. Here they understood just a bit that the word jail and the jail as such, are in fact, two different things.

No sooner did they understand that when they made them write rubbish like: "I regret to have come to..." That was not a full confession of guilt as was shown to them in the case, episode by episode, but it allowed the prosecutor to write in the materials: "They fully admitted their guilt, expressed their regrets and readiness to assist in revealing the the facts of the crime."

In such a way the prosecutor asserted that B.A. and Z.M. confessed to everything, including facts now rendering me charged with Art. 235, "recruiting" them, involvement in an organized criminal group and others - by default. They could have denied it in court, but somehow they didn't appear in the courtroom, although they both promised in public that they would go there and "take care of everything."

These are facts again, not conclusions. Somehow I hate to draw conclusions, they won't be good, and they could just as well be unjust, as there is no evidence, just a bit of logic and emotions.

To contradict the conclusions of the investigation in the courtroom means to emphasize an ambiguity of their statements, which the prosecutor used against me. That would be very weighty for the court, at least from a legal point of view, as well as for my defense. In turn, to trumpet the same from Frankfurt means nothing from a legal point of view. That's a political ersatz of legal courage.

I'm not drawing any conclusions, nor do I bear any grudge; however, I have the right to think, understand and decide for myself. That's why I think, understand and decide. I'm not judging anyone.

And when I write that I approach Ayzhangul Amirova's and Roza Tuletayeva's statements "with understanding," and I know what I mean as I say this: they are victims. And I don't mean to write here that I approach the absence of B.A.'s and Z.M.'s statements in the courtroom with understanding, because that's not true.

In Sapargali's view, the same expressions of his, for instance in the statements in view of Art. 65, which were used by B.A. and Z.M. did not pass automatically. I think this is also the "range". He's still living in the medical hall of the jail, under different conditions; the prosecutor himself struck off the most serious article he was charged with: 164  (they demanded a 9-year sentence for me based on that); everything seems to indicate Art. 170 par. 1 for him, which is subject to amnesty, and par. 2 in suspension.

Aminov is standing apart, just as it was in the real world. He confessed to everything and is waiting for his freedom promised by the lawyers in any form.

You can see the whole structure of the whole concept from the very beginning: I am to serve my sentence (Aliya, my darling, forgive me; I knew it right from the start, that's why I didn't want you to hope for anything else), Sapargali is to be released.

As for Aminov, I couldn't really tell; they might make him serve a real sentence as well, some 3-4 years. They wanted him to produce a specific statement against me; Talgat Saktaganov told him that openly in jail after discussions with Mazhilov, and he did not state anything like that, and in the courtroom he plucked up the courage to answer Plutov's (the attorney for the defense) question: "I have never received any instructions from Kozlov," by which he definitely reinforced my defense, having taken away ambiguous expressions from his interrogation during the investigation, like "Amirova was the contact link between me and Kozlov" I. Aminov, a driver and leader of his "Comanches" from Zhanaozen, whom I hadn't even known before the Aktau remand prison, before June 2012, did this, whereas... I'll stop at that. As the Russian proverb goes: what's been written with a pen cannot be erased even with a hatchet… I'll leave it for later, maybe there is something I don't know or something...

I think I'll be sentenced to around 6-7 years in prison. There are Ertysbayev's words stating that 3-4 suspended would be enough for me. But that might be a prelude to his admiration of how independent our judiciary is; his words have even been ignored. ...

These days, before 9.10.12, before the sentence, are the most difficult ones. The mind is fighting with hope and it should overcome it by then. Because you have to live on, you need to plan and realize how to live. To live by the scheme set out by yourself, rather than by those creatures deprived of honor and conscience.

I should use these days to prepare both myself and Aliya for this variant. To persuade myself that the sentence is the following stage of my life, that this stage should give me both experience as well as a benefit at the end of the day, despite the objective heaviness in my soul because of the frustrated desire to be a man, because my innocence under law that has been publicly trampled on by the shoes of political sewage cleaners.

The feeling is also hard because those I had been helping were forced to become ungrateful, calumniate me, while realizing that they were doing so. And because the guilty ones are still at large, and they are still governing this madhouse and this disgrace.

An inscription on the wall of the prison yard written in charcoal says: "It is not the one who got sent to jail that is lost, but it's the one who lost his spirit in jail that is lost." Life goes on...